I will make an assertion that might surprise or upset a few people. That is, horses do not need to bond with people. As long as a horse’s basic needs of food, water, and companionship are met, they couldn’t give a farthing if they never saw a human in their entire life.

But people are different. Most people want to bond with their horse. They get upset if they feel their horse doesn’t want to be with them. To fulfill this need people repeat the mistake over and over again of avoiding doing enough to help a horse change its thought because they don’t want to upset their horse or induce anxiety in the horse. They don’t want to do anything they think might cause their horse not to like them. But this is making horse training more about people's concerns than the horses. It is both an ignorant and selfish approach to training.

Some people who read my essays about training principles and watch my videos come away with the mistaken view that my training and my clinics are all rainbows and cuddles. But I am not that sort of trainer. I am the sort of trainer who will do as little as I can to get a change of thought, but as much as necessary too. That means that sometimes I am applying so little pressure that people can’t see what I am doing and other times it means the pressure gets to earthquake proportions, with most of the time it is somewhere in between. I try very hard not to apply more pressure than necessary to change a horse’s thoughts and provide them with clarity. To do more than that verges on punishment. But to apply less pressure than necessary to change a horse’s thoughts and provide clarity verges on emotional abuse.

In the past, a small number of people have expressed confusion and even concern about how much pressure I applied to some horses. They felt what they saw me doing was inconsistent with the ideas I espoused in my essays. So I want to say a few things about this.

Firstly, as I have written in my book, The Essence Of Good Horsemanship there is no such thing as kind or gentle training. All training requires a certain threshold level of anxiety in a horse to stop one behaviour and replace it with another. This is equally true for training that applies the principles of negative reinforcement (R-) and positive reinforcement (R+) The amount of anxiety required to make a horse think what it is doing is no longer a good idea is the same for every horse. However, the amount of pressure a human has to apply to reach that threshold level of anxiety can vary hugely. So just because one horse will change its thought with a wiggle of a finger and another horse will require a whirlwind of energy from a swinging rope, does not mean one method was more aggressive or violent than the other from a horse’s point of view. They both added the same amount of worry in the respective horses to create a change of thought.

Secondly, when it comes to horses the end mostly does justify the means. By that I mean, if a horse finishes a session in a better emotional place and with a clearer understanding of its role than it had in the beginning, then it is hard to judge what happened as inappropriate or wrong. Remember this is about how the horse feels, not how the human feels. If I can get a good change in a short time by using a strong feel or achieve the same result over a much longer time using much less pressure, I get it done sooner rather than later. I don’t feel it is fair to leave a horse feeling crappy any longer than necessary just because I don’t like using more pressure. I’m not saying it is wrong to do less and take longer if that is where your skill level is, but I am not letting my horse flounder any longer than I have to simply because I want to avoid being firmer and clearer.

The reason most people come to a clinic is because the things they have been doing with their horse are not getting the results they have been seeking. An owner puts trouble in their horse and leaves it there until it becomes habitual, then gets upset if a trainer has to apply more pressure than they would like to get the horse to think of changing their idea and behaviour. They look at the trainers as being cruel and aggressive but don’t see fault in themselves for creating the situation in the first place and leaving their horses troubled for days, weeks, and years.

Horses don’t care about how much pressure we use provided there is clarity and quieter/calmer emotions at the end. Horses don’t care how they got there, just that they feel better because of it. So a horse does not carry the worry that pressure might induce any longer than it takes for the change of thought to come through. Once the change of thought occurs the emotions are quelled and clarity is obtained. A horse does not fixate on the applied pressure any longer than that – whether it is barely perceptible or highly charged. The amount of pressure required to get a change is not what is important to a horse. The pressure only becomes a problem if we don’t use it with enough clarity to change a thought or if we use more than necessary to change a thought. You only have to watch horses interacting in the paddock to realize that it is not pressure that matters, but the clarity at the end.

It is very human to want to make sure our horses are calm and relaxed all the time. We want them to like us, so we don’t want to be the source of their trouble. I applaud this notion and try hard to work in that way. However, I don’t believe we do our horses any favours by allowing our desire to be their friend and not upset them with their need for clarity and confidence in following our idea. It never is and never should be about us.