I published a video on YouTube in 2017 called “The Cup of Worry.” I will post the link at the bottom of this essay.

The video discusses that each horse has limits to how much worry it can handle before having a meltdown - sometimes a minor meltdown, but sometimes a major one. A deeper dive into the phenomena is presented in the video, so I strongly urge you to watch it.

But in this post, I want to consider the nature of what can trigger a horse’s worry.

We all know that pressure that is used with little or no clarity is perhaps the single biggest cause of anxiety in a horse. If a horse understands the meaning or intent behind the pressure we apply, there is very little trouble created inside a horse. They are aware of the pressure and they know how to respond to remove the discomfort caused by the pressure. If the meaning is clear, the concern is minimal. However, a pressure that leaves a horse confused and at a loss as to its meaning is a form of mental and emotional abuse. A lack of clarity is the most common form of abuse we impose on our horses.

When we think of ways we create worry in our horse we tend to think of pressure that is too big or ill-timed or a release of pressure that is inconsistently timed. These things can cause a horse’s cup of worry to fill very fast. But what about an event that we don’t recognize as causing worry?

I can think of several students and clients I’ve had over the years who innately carry a high level of energy. They pet their horse like they are scrubbing a stain out of its coat. They tie on a halter like it was a speed event. They are constantly busy around their horse and struggle to work with a feel. It’s often very difficult for their horses to feel relaxed when being exposed to such levels of energy. The energy oozing from the human is a form of pressure that has no clarity.

Another example I see often is when a horse asks a question and the human does not answer it. A horse may be in the process of making a choice and looking for guidance from the rider, but the human is not giving that guidance. I recently watched a session where in the middle of working with a horse the owner suddenly abandoned the connection because their phone rang. I’ve seen similar events the connection with a horse was broken when the person reached for their water bottle or turned to speak to somebody. This abandonment in the middle of a conversation creates a form of stress for a horse because it abruptly leaves them with zero guidance. It’s like hanging up the phone in the middle of a meaningful conversation.

I can’t possibly list all the ways we might impose a worry on a horse without being aware of our actions. There may be times when we add a very small amount of mental and emotional stress by tripping on a rock when we lead a horse or when pulling out a handkerchief to blow our nose or when flinging our hands as we talk to another person or when we unzip our jacket or when we sneeze loudly or when we have a distracting thought. But because these small forms of stress often remain an internal worry and are not obvious on the outside of the horse, we ignore them. They get added to the cup of worry without our knowledge. The cup slowly fills with worry and then something minor like the screech of an owl causes the cup to overflow with worry and our horse suddenly explodes. Then we cry, “Where did that come from?” But it started with our tripping on a rock or removing our jacket or the explosion of a sneeze.

It is impossible to predict what minor events cause a horse’s internal worry to go into the cup. Nor can we know how much worry each of them contributes to the cup of worry. But I am confident that not every worry that is added to the cup comes from something obvious and foreseen. Many are so small we are oblivious to them. That’s why it is so important that we are always checking in to test a horse’s focus, clarity and softness and do our best to constantly empty the cup of worry as much as we can. To get along with your horse as best as possible you need to know the cup of worry is filling and that you need to work towards eliminating it as best you can at every step along the way.