This is an excerpt from my book, The Essence of Good Horsemanship.

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Since I was a kid, I’ve voraciously read books about training and horses in general. I have particularly been interested in studying some of the old master of dressage. However, these books never provided a window into the sort of approach to horsemanship that interests me nowadays. I’ve read some of the classics of horsemanship such True Unity, The Thinking Horseman, and True Horsemanship Through Feel. All of them are excellent books and worth reading several times.

However, I keep coming back to a book that has become one of my favourites on the subject of horses and relationships, even though it is not a horse book at all. I first read it when I was in my mid-teens, and then re-read it at least once every decade since. With each reading, I gain new insights about the relationship with horses that a human should never forget.

The book is the classic French children’s book called The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. It was written in 1943, and is definitely the first book I read that offered insight into what I was missing with my relationship with horses.

It tells the story of a young boy who lives on a tiny planet not much bigger than a house. He can walk from one side to the other and see as many sunrises and sunsets as he wishes. He shares his planet with a rose that is vain and constantly demanding in a way that drives the Little Prince mad. He takes it upon himself to care for the rose. His other responsibility is to clean the three volcanoes that exist on his planet.

Eventually, he leaves his home to explore the galaxy. Along the way he meets many interesting characters among the stars with their own tales to tell and allegories to share. When he eventually gets to Earth, he meets a fox. The fox tells him “the truth of what the eyes see can only be clearly seen by the heart”.

However, the message that I most remember that stuck with me about working with horses was when the fox told the Little Prince “…. you are responsible forever for what you tame” and, “it is the time you have devoted to your rose that makes your rose so important”.

These two messages really caused my little brain to whirl. I realized that my horse is important because I am responsible for it. The importance of a horse doesn’t come from it being useful or fun or pretty or talented. The importance comes from the fact that I am responsible for it.

Even more than that, it was a huge revelation to know that I don’t own a horse. I am just responsible for it. Just like a parent doesn’t own a child, yet are responsible for it. The responsibility comes from inviting a horse into my life (or as the fox would say “tamed it”). It doesn’t come from a bill of sale or registration papers.

The fox taught the Little Prince why the rose, despite all the trouble it caused him, was so important. And the fox taught me why each and every horse is so important.