When I was a young man and began dating, my dad offered some fatherly advice.
“ Son, the Jacobs charm is a powerful thing. It is something all males in the family are born with and must learn to use responsibly. Its power is greater than any power mere mortals should possess and that’s why the world is fortunate that only the Jacobs men hold it. In our hands, the Jacobs charm is a soothing balm that brings joy and promise to everyone around us. But you must learn to control it and use it wisely.
“I want you to remember these words when you go out on a date with a young lady. A little bit of the Jacobs charm goes a long way. But the most important thing of all is when you say goodnight to your date always leave them wanting more. You know it’s time to finish the evening when they want more.”
My father was a wise man and he knew what he was talking about because it worked so well in winning over my mother.
Even though Dad is long gone, I think of his advice often. Not in regard to dating women anymore because I think my wife would kill me. But I think of it in terms of ways to incorporate Dad’s wisdom into my work with horses.
“Always leave them wanting more.”
There are two aspects to my father’s advice that we should consider when working with a horse. Firstly, we need to find a way to present the work so that it is enjoyable to a horse. We could have a vigorous debate about this subject. It’s not certain that horses can enjoy working with us and many people on either side of the debate have strong views. However, what I do believe is that even if you take the stance that work can't be fun for a horse, I think we can all agree that it does not have to be a bad experience. Work or training does not have to be something a horse dreads. Maybe that’s the best we can hope for, and for most purposes, I am convinced that it’s good enough for us to get along well with a horse.
The second ingredient hidden inside the phrase, “always leave them wanting more,” is the idea that whatever it is that we are doing we should stop doing it while it still feels good to a horse. If we continue past the point of a horse feeling okay and into the realm of “I’m over it,” not much good will come out of the experience. If you finish after the moment the horse’s good feelings begin to wane you have missed an opportunity to achieve maximum benefit from the work.
The ability to judge when to leave a horse wanting more is the result of a rider having great feel and balance. These two elements equip people with a sense of knowing how much is too much and how little is too little. I suppose some of you reading this think of a rider having balance as their ability to keep their centre of gravity as close as possible to the horse’s sense of gravity. However, in the context of this discussion, I am really referring to balance as the balance between too much and too little, between too strong and too soft, and between too early and too late. This is an aspect of balance that does not get much attention from instructors and clinicians, and it is intimately linked to feel.
You might think that the concept of always leaving a horse wanting more is mostly about not overworking them. Not stressing our horses to the point of hating the work. But it is much more than that. It should be incorporated into nearly all aspects of interacting with a horse.
The most obvious one that comes to my mind is the way we reward a horse for work done well. The idea of a reward is to both let a horse know it found the right answer and to motivate it to repeat the response the next time we ask. Therefore, how we offer a reward should be done in a way to maximize the process of learning.
A lot goes into achieving maximum benefit from a reward (discussed in detail in The Essence Of Good Horsemanship). We need to consider how to reward, how long to reward for, when to stop rewarding, and when to apply pressure for the next task. Some horses like to be touched; others don’t. Some horses are particular how we touch them and where. Some appreciate relief from pressure and some are oblivious to it. Most horses like food, but some are fussy about the treat and how much.
Today I work with my mare, Six. After I returned her to her paddock I scratched her in front of the wither. She got into it and wanted more. But I walked away after about 15 seconds even though she probably would have booked me for an hour of scratching if she had a choice. When I walked away she followed me to the fence line even though her friends galloped to the other end of the paddock. When we reached the fence and just before I crawled through, I gave her another scratch for 15 seconds then left. I walked away with her wanting more and hopefully feeling good about the next time she sees me.
Good horse people often say, “If in doubt, do less”. If a person does too much, it is over and done with and can’t be taken back. But if you do less, you can always do more if you need to. This concept is incorporated in the idea, ”Always leave them wanting more.”
My father was not a horseman, but he had many of the skills and understanding that a lot of horsemen would benefit from having.
Mum and Dad on their wedding day. If my dad could win a woman as amazing as my mother, it’s a dramatic example of the frightening power of the Jacobs charm.