The Role of Pressure in the Relationship

I was asked a few days ago about pressure and its role when trying to bond with a horse.

At clinics, I talk a lot about using pressure to change a horse’s thoughts and emotions as my number one goal. Caring about what it is doing or moving the horse’s feet is my number two goal. But first and foremost I aim to influence how a horse feels and what it is thinking. This is because emotions shape a horse’s thoughts and thoughts shape a horse’s movement.

I believe this approach is how we best tap into a bond and a partnership with our horses. If we take care of our horse’s emotions it begins to associate our presence and the pressure we present as a positive in their life.

So Patty asked me a question on behalf of a friend (who could not attend the clinic) about how does that work in a herd? When horses apply pressure to each other they are generally focused on directing movement and not on changing emotions. When a horse uses pressure to chase another horse away from the hay they are not concerned about the ill feelings it might create in the other horse. Yet, when the dust settles and the chasing is over, they still remain friends. They still have a bond and a kinship. But if a human chases a horse away from the hay, they will probably damage the relationship. What is going on?

The obvious answer would seem to be that horses don’t see humans as other horses. Horses have a genetically wired need for herd companionship. The herd instinct is very strong in most horses because it is linked to their survival instinct. They evolved to understand that there is safety in numbers.

But they don’t immediately recognize people as part of their herd. If anything, a horse’s natural instinct is to be very skeptical about people and certainly about any pressure coming from people. The safety in numbers principle does not automatically apply when the herd is made up of people or many other species.

If you accept this concept, it is easy to understand why pressure from another horse does not undo the herd instinct very easily. Pressure does not have to create emotional comfort to maintain the bond between horses. But when it comes to humans, any bond can be easily broken by a pressure that does not create clarity and emotional comfort. There is no overriding herd instinct to maintain the bond with people. Two horses can beat each other up and they will still be friends at the end of it. But when a human beats up a horse, there is nothing but fear and trouble afterward.

The second part of this concept of pressure and bonding is that when a horse applies pressure to another horse the reasons and the results are crystal clear. When a horse is driven away from the hay by another horse, the subordinate horse does not have to guess why. It’s obvious. The competition for the hay is why there was pressure and when the horse is driven off, the competition is over and the pressure disappears. Calm, tranquility, and emotional comfort are restored. The dominant horse provided clarity as to why there was pressure and what the subordinate horse needed to do to find comfort again.

To take this a step further, if we want a horse to feel less troubled when we apply pressure, we absolutely MUST get a change in a horse’s thoughts from the idea that occupies their mind to the idea that we want them to have. That’s essential and without it emotional okay-ness and bonding can not occur. But, when one horse applies pressure to another horse they may not get a change of thought, yet will still maintain their bond. For example, horse A drives horse B away from the hay. Horse B trots far enough away that horse A stops chasing it. Horse A goes to eat the hay. But horse B may still be thinking he wants to eat the hay and be waiting just far enough away to avoid being chased. Horse B is emotionally troubled by the conflict of wanting the hay, but not wanting to get kicked. Furthermore, horse A might be troubled because he wants to eat the hay, but he has to remain watchful and vigilant in case horse B creeps in and steals some hay.

Both horses are feeling troubled. But once the competition for the hay is over, so is the trouble. It takes no effort for them to behave as if they were lifelong friends. This is true no matter what they are competing for - food, water, shade, companionship with another horse, etc.

This does not happen between horses and people. if we are to develop a good relationship when using pressure we must get a change of thought and help the horse feel emotionally better at the end. Just moving their feet won’t be enough to develop a bond. Without getting changes in a horse’s thoughts and feelings the best we can hope for is forced obedience. Instead of friendship and willingness, we create an obedient slave. That kind of relationship always has severe limitations on what can be achieved.